I have still not unpacked from two weeks ago, let alone this weekend and all I want to do is write. I want to soak up the memories of this summer, put them away on a shelf for the busy fall months that are sure to come, and I just want to remember by babies like the way they are today.
Sweaty, sticky summer moments of softball, traveling, chasing, cuddling new pets, doing NOTHING at all and doing everything all at the same time.
My daughter told me today that I never just sit down and play. As I began to defend myself I promptly stopped and asked her if she really never thinks I play with her. I can't remember the response, but she said something politically correct that was an attempt at not hurting my feelings. But basically, yes Mom, you don't sit down and play with me enough.
Instead of the ten things I needed to accomplish in that moment, we hauled out all of the craft items we own and settled on a bunch of feathers, posterboard, hot glue, butterfly stencils, and sticky backed paper. Settling into her bed tonight, she could not bear to have the light turned out before she had the chance to admire her new artwork. She is so proud of that feather/posterboard explosion, and I am so ashamed that it takes my child telling me that I am too busy with other things to get new artwork on the wall.
I wish I had it all figured out. I wish I could slow time and my kids would never know a moment when I had to do anything other than be with them. Yeah yeah, that would be super unhealthy, I know.
Softball ended tonight with a sugar rush from Braum's and a little girl who is already missing the season. I can not believe it, but she actually enjoyed it a lot. I just enjoy the chance to sit in 1,000 degree heat and talk with friends and drink water. Lots and lots of water.
My grass is dead. My plants are withering. I want to move to Oregon and just run outside during the rain showers and open my mouth and scream with delight. Instead, I scream at the wasps that have decided my arid flowerbed is the place to nest and the millions of prickly grass blades that cut my feet when I walk over to water my shriveling cannas. I'm not bitter. Really.
With that, I'm going to let the dog out and trample over the feather debris that is my dining room. Take that, preoccupied Mother!
4 comments:
1. Wish I would've watered your plants when I made my impromptu visit to your house (sorry, no phone with me to see if you were home).
2. More importantly, you were making one of many great summer memories with your little girl. The plants can wait. ;)
Out of the mouths of babes...sometimes we just don't realize what our kids need. YOu are doing a great job just listening to her and recognizing what is important to her - what we think is quality time might differ from their perspective. So don't beat yourself up. I was sitting in line this morning at the DPS behind some pretty sad teens. The conversation between the 4 of them was vulgar and for a few minutes I heard one of them talking about how she never lived with her mother. And I knew why they were the way they were.
Yay for pretty artwork!
Gena, you always seem to take the words right out of my heart. I, too, have been feeling this way. It is so hard to slow down to just play and yet it is sad to have to find the time to do just that! Loved your post!
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